


Matters of Love & State

by blackgoldberry



Category: 16th Century CE RPF, The Tudors (TV)
Genre: 16th Century CE, Drama, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Historical Figures, Period Typical Attitudes, Politics, Romance, Royalty, Violence, court intrigue
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-24
Updated: 2019-08-24
Packaged: 2020-09-25 01:54:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,107
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20368705
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blackgoldberry/pseuds/blackgoldberry
Summary: The birth of her husband's bastard son was the ultimate humiliation for Katherine of Aragon and she withdraws from court. However, taking advice from an old and dear friend, the Queen of England finds the strength for a new outlook on life. How will the King Henry deal with this? And through it all, factions within the court vie for power and prestige. Will the Queen of England prevail?





	Matters of Love & State

Katherine entered the great hall, her blue eyes blazing as her husband, the King and the court celebrated the birth of his bastard son. She was dressed finely as befitted her station in a gown of silver silk with precious pearls embedded along the bodice of her gown. Her hair was swept up and hidden by a silver veil with an elaborate lacing along its edges. She could hear the echoes of the fireworks outside the palace that boomed over London in celebration of the King's bastard son.

"Her majesty the Queen!" The herald announced, drawing the attention of the crowd and the King as she walked into their gathering. Katherine stopped and looked at her husband before dipping into a graceful curtsey and holding her hand out. A servant handed her a goblet filled with wine, and she held it up in a toast to her husband.

There was nothing in her face that gave away the storm that was gathering beneath. She remained calm, dignified, and majestic as her rank and birth demanded. Henry met her gaze and held his goblet up to her, and she drunk from her own before handing it back to the servant. The Queen of England turned and walked out. She was done here.

Her ladies followed, but she sent them away so she could weep. How dare he? The humiliation! She tried to keep her composure, but she could not hold her tears at bay. A sob escaped her throat, and she covered her mouth, trying to prevent the inevitable. She caught sight of herself in her Venetian looking glass and felt a wave of repulsion. Her body was nothing more than a wreck, the consequence of six pregnancies. She had only two babes to boast of; her precious son had been called away, and now only her daughter, her sweet Mary, had remained to her. She had just lost another child the previous year and now this?

She wiped at her face, her lips quivering from the rage that was steadily growing within her. She had sacrificed so much and gained so little, and though she knew a woman was fit to rule, her husband did not. And now this? It was not enough to bed any woman as he pleased; he had to go and sire a bastard on one of her ladies? And not only that but to celebrate his birth as if he were a legitimate prince of their union? Katherine would not endure this. She had to leave the court, for her wounds were too great and worst of all they were inflicted by the man she loved.

It wasn't long before Katherine was set to leave the palace. Her things were packed, and her litter awaited her. She walked through the halls, accompanied by her ladies when she heard a distinct "My lady." She stopped and turned her head to see Elizabeth Blount in a slight curtsey. Insolent wench. One might argue that the woman had just given birth, but the Queen knew disrespect when she saw it. This low…..no, she was beneath her. She turned and kept walking. Her husband's mistress did not deserve any further attention in her thoughts.

Away, at one of her estates, Katherine found herself weeping and praying constantly. Why had God not granted her a son? Why would He see her brought so low? How could this be His will? She prayed and wept. Wept and prayed. It did little to soothe her, and her rage only grew even more.

On one particular day, she did not bother to even rise from her bed. She sent her ladies away, not wanting to be disturbed by their presence. Hours came and went until she saw one of her ladies, Lady Anne Percy, standing at the door, a fearful expression upon her face.

Katherine sat up, agitated at once. "Did I not give orders not to be disturbed, Lady Percy?"

"Yes, your majesty, but tis the Lady Willoughby," Lady Percy said meekly.

The Queen gasped and rose from the bed, grabbing an over gown and slipping it on before she walked into her solar, where her dearest and oldest friend, María de Salinas, stood to wait for her.

"María," Katherine breathed before she stepped forward and embraced her.

María immediately returned the affectionate embrace before pulling away with a frown.

"What are you doing here, Catalina?" She asked, arching a fair eyebrow. María had never been a great beauty, but she was not terrible to look at either. Her face was dull, but her hair was fair and complimented her skin. Her features were sharp and angular, and she had vibrant green eyes. She wore a traveling gown of brown; her hair pulled back underneath one of those dastardly French hoods.

"Me?" The Queen retorted. "What are you doing here, María? You have just given birth!"

"I was concerned to hear that my Queen and my dearest friend had retreated from the court in defeat," María said flatly, and Katherine felt her cheeks burn in anger.

"You have heard of my newest humiliation then?" Katherine spat out, her rage boiling up once again.

"The birth of the Fitzroy bastard? Indeed, I have," María retorted, crossing her arms. "And I wonder, why has this low born bastard, driven away the Queen of England, and the daughter of the Catholic Monarchs?" Katherine felt the reproach in her words but knew them to be true even if they stung her.

"You love your husband too much, and this is where your fault lies," María continued, grasping her hand and squeezing it. Katherine stared at her in confusion. What did she mean? For was it not the duty of every good Christian woman to love her husband? And Katherine did resolve to be a good Christian woman. How could she be otherwise?

"Another fault laid at my feet?" The Queen of England asked bitterly.

"There have been many laid at your feet, but you can trust that I do not lay any false claims against you."

"It's not equal Katherine, the love you bear for him is greater than the love he bears for you. And that is why you hurt so much." María paused, the frown on her face deepening. "Or perhaps I should say, you are more invested in him than needs be. Perhaps you should love your husband, but know that he is not the end of all things."

Katherine recoiled at her words, shocked etched across her face. Was it true? Had she been that way with Henry? Katherine had vowed to never be like her sister Juana, who had been obsessed beyond reason with her husband, the scoundrel Philip the Handsome. But perhaps even though Katherine had not been obsessive, it was as María claimed: she loved Henry more than he loved her and why was that acceptable?

"Invest in yourself, Catalina. Your worth is priceless, and you exist outside of that man. You have a country that loves you, a daughter to tend to, and friends who love you. Love yourself enough so that even though it will never please you that the man you love violates his marriage vows continuously, you can endure it as many queens and women have done before you," Maria continued. Katherine allowed her words to seep in. Her mother had loved her father, yet hated his infidelities and had to endure them. She thought again of her sister, Juana, and shuddered. Lord forbid, that she should ever be reduced to such a state!

She rose to her feet shakily and stopped in front of her looking glass and felt another wave of repulsion. She had grown fat and heavy, but then when had that mattered when she was trying to bear a son for the kingdom? Katherine had once taken pride in her appearance, where had it gone? She let out a long shaky sigh and turned back to María who looked at her expectedly.

"You are right, María," Katherine admitted, though it pained her to face these truths. She could not wallow in lies and deception. She had to see her reality and deal with it.

She was the daughter of the Catholic Monarchs, and Infanta of Castile, Aragon, and León. She was a descendant of Katherine of Lancaster, and she deserved better. Henry had long clouded her thoughts, but clearly, it was not the same for him. She loved him, and this is how he responded to her love? Katherine looked at her reflection once more. What she had gained, she could surely lose, could she not? And why should Katherine not enjoy herself as her husband did? She would never break her marriage vows and love him she still did, but why should life's pleasure be denied to her? She was the Queen of England, a mother, and a wife, but surely there should be time for herself.

She did not immediately return to court for Katherine had discovered to her surprise that she was pregnant with another child and due to give birth within several months. She had been surprised at the news and had sent word to her husband so that he should know. Katherine remained away from court in the care of her ladies, and following Maria's advice, she began to focus on herself until December 23, 1519, God granted her and the kingdom of England their long-awaited desire, that of a healthy wailing boy who was named Edward, after the King's famous grandfather, Edward IV of England.

Of course, with the birth of a male son, her husband was overjoyed, if cautious, considering what had happened to their first boy. Henry had immediately made plans for his household, and Margaret Bryan was chosen to be his governess. Katherine thought her a right and proper choice for her son and at the time had decided to appoint Lady Margaret Pole as governess to her daughter, Mary.

Edward was christened, and her sister in law, the Dowager Duchess of France, stood as his godmother with Wolsey as his godfather. Katherine had raged against it, but she had lost that particular battle. It only increased her hatred for the Cardinal, and she vowed that one day she would see him humbled.

Otherwise, the Queen of England found herself very busy with her new life. She had taken up hawking and hunting once more, which helped her to lose the excess weight she had gained over the years. This pleased her immensely, and while she would never be as slender as she was when she had come to England, she had attained a thinner figure with gentle curves.

Katherine also took up bathing with scented violets in hot water more often. Her thick and long, vibrant auburn hair was washed and bathed in soft scented oils until it shimmered and was smooth like silk. She had new jewelry made, things such as necklaces, rings, earrings, and tiaras, all befitting her rank as the first lady in the realm.

She ordered luxurious fabrics such as silk, damask, taffeta, satin, and linen. She ordered new gowns and had some of her old ones taken in. She had several pieces of fine cloth sent to both Mary and Edward for smocks and dressed in between her visits with them. Her eating habits changed as well, and she enjoyed the delicious salads of her home more often and made sure to eat more fruits.

The Queen of England then turned her attention to matters of state. She, who had once served as an ambassador for her father and regent for her husband had found her power and influence diminished. She would have to change that. She would need new allies, and the first thing she needed to do before returning to court was to rid herself of the spies that Wolsey had placed in her household. His spies would report her activities to him and open her letters. Well, the first thing she had done was to appoint María, her principle lady in waiting once more, and she had dismissed several ladies and maids of honor of whom she was suspicious. She would replace them slowly in proper time, and with the assurance that they would be loyal to her only.

May was approaching, and word had been sent that there was to be a summit between the King of England and the King of France. Katherine had been displeased to hear this and knew that it was more than time to take her place once more beside her husband. The Queen of England had been reborn both inwardly and outwardly.

**Author's Note:**

> So for the third time, I have scrapped and rewrote this story, but I just didn't like it. I promise though, that this will be the last time I do so. I expanded the prologue and in general I should say things will go at a slower and more detailed pace, but I had to get everything set up. I hope you all enjoy it!


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